| work tired |
[Jul. 17th, 2009|07:31 pm] |
I just finished my first week of being back in an office full time and I am exhausted. Waking up earlier, way more driving each day, and grabbing lunches near the office. These things result in 25-30% more life time taken away by work. Also some amount of money that is the cost of gas of driving my car a ton more and buying those lunches. (And I do recognize that I could bring more lunches, but that would cost even more time and coordination.)
I also recognize that the reason all this time/money leaking is so hard to accept is that I am somewhat spoiled by the working at home I got to do. First from New York and then for some time with this job. Most people don't have that opportunity. So the reason it sucks isn't because it's worse than the average deal. It sucks because I had it better, and I'm used to working way, and I don't want to give that up. |
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| one more |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|02:26 pm] |
Because I'm a trained improviser and three is a magic number. A quote I saved found in "stuff.txt"
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut |
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| and more |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|02:21 pm] |
Also found this. Priceless. "7-4-07 late night music list.txt"
impromptu independence day game night, followed by late night food and lounging about listening to melodramatic broken-hearted soft rocky stuff
Cold Play - Don't Panic
Gary Jules - Mad World
James Taylor - Fire and Rain
Damien Rice - The Blower's Daughter
Weezer - Butterfly
Counting Crows - The Ghost In You
The Decemberists - Of Angels And Angles
Our Lady Peace - 4am
Aqueduct - The Suggestion Box
Matthew Good Band - Apparitions
Pear Jam - Better Man
The Cure - Just Like Heaven
Something Corporate - Konstantine
U2 - Where the streets have no name
Colin Hay - I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You
Cranberries - Linger
Dave Matthews Band - The Stone
Dido - Thank You
Enya - The Memory of Trees
Garbage - #1 Crush
Pink Floyd - Mother
The Tea Party - Psychopomp |
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| some old writing |
[Jul. 14th, 2009|02:18 pm] |
Looks like I wrote this in May 2007. Found in a document simply called "writing.txt".
still figuring out what this life is going to be
just trying to keep content until I get there
and not burn too many bridges along the way
keeping doors open
save save
greencard |
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| New York Eris Day 2009 |
[May. 24th, 2009|05:39 pm] |
Lost a water bottle.
Found a hat.
"Elite" hidden hotdog place.
Acquired a menu.
Irish breakfast.
Found treasure.
Rock band.
Roofs.
Extra roofs.
Water tower.
Elevator control room.
Dropped screws from a height with a satisfying clunk.
Delicious pizza.
Wooden pier past barrier.
Cigars.
Huge, scary spider in my cleavage.
Open doorhole led to unreachable art.
Talked to an Egyptian.
Chaos cake.
Dude doing a Rubick's cube in each hand, successfully and fast and not for show.
Staten island ferry.
Talked to a cop.
Visited Central Park at night.
Private art tunnel.
Rock and raccoon.
Employee bathroom in a Duane Reade.
Sunrise.
Pigeon mating rituals.
Buying the "best" bagels.
Ending up in the Bronx instead of Harlem. |
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| it took less than 30 days |
[Apr. 20th, 2009|08:58 pm] |
After taking new meds early last week, my strange and pervasive stomach problems appear to be over.
Meanwhile, mentally and emotionally the CIF trip revived me.
I've got a new cold to deal with, probably exasperated by spending most of yesterday in the rain. Whatever, colds are a cake walk.
I'm exhausted, but great. Like sore muscles after a workout is a good pain, this is a good tired.
Changes are on the horizon.
What are they?
I have no idea.
And that's awesome. |
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| How to tell if Kristin is broken. |
[Apr. 10th, 2009|08:14 am] |
When she stops doing improv and cancels her involvement in shows. (For a weekend.)
I've been still doing as much improv as I could throughout all of this sick stuff. I've still done every performance I've been scheduled for. The whole show adrenalin thing is really awesome and usually makes not being sick an issue.
But sick stuff reached new heights yesterday morning, and it hasn't subsided. Last night I went out to watch the 3fer and ended up doing tech, and... well, as my twitter said "Left tech booth during IFE show. Got sick in downstairs bathroom. Rinsed mouth with toothpaste. Back in time to dim lights on improv cue."
So I felt awesome for making it back and hanging in there. Rockstar. Trooper. Etc.
But realistically, I probably shouldn't be on performing this weekend. Fleeing the stage is not as easy as fleeing a tech booth.
This was hard to admit and take care of. The last thing I want to do is less improv. |
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| give me 30 days |
[Apr. 8th, 2009|01:05 pm] |
Physically, emotionally, there's been a lot going on with me.
I can't make any of it instantly better. I'm waiting for test results. I'm taking new drugs. I'm doing my best to cope and not go crazy.
I'm tired of waiting for things to change, so right now my temporary goal is a month from now. In a month maybe this stomach stuff will be figured out. In a month the drugs should have built up and be having an affect. CIF will have come and gone. There will be two less wisdom teeth in my mouth. I'll have a month's worth of perspective and living and maybe a little more wisdom. In a month it'll be the day of my LAFF show.
So for now, moment to moment to moment.
I'll look at the whole forest again in a month. |
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| awesome |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|11:55 am] |
I say that I save about "half my salary", you know, for the future.
In reality though, the monthly amount fluctuates with occasional big purchases, loss of rent, tax refunds, stuff like that, and I thought it was actually maybe closer to 40%. But I cleaned up some of my budgeting categories from 2008 and took a look at the auto generated chart, and in the end it was awesomely:
The next big chunk is mortgage, then household bills, then it gets more random.
So yay! All this budgeting, number crunching, and paying attention to my spending really does work. |
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| allergies |
[Jan. 25th, 2009|07:12 pm] |
I haven't really had bad allergies before. After a couple years in Austin there was one season where I had a few sporadic days of allergy suffering. I took some meds that worked pretty well, but made me tired and missed a couple days of work, and that was about it.
Then this last Thursday night / Friday morning, blam. I feel like I've been run over by a semi. I'm exhausted, stuffy, headachy, tired, queasy, and in general just want to curl up in a ball and be hugged until it's all over. (I just noticed I managed to include both "exhausted" and "tired" in that last sentence. Going to leave it that way.) I guess cedar has been exceptionally high. I've taken some off-brand claritin, some benadryl, they aren't helping a whole lot.
There's at least a few people I know who have pretty consistent allergies and the last few days have made me full of awe (awe-full? but not awful?) in how they cope with this on a regular basis.
I hope I am not forever weakened to cedar. It has now joined ranks with cilantro in my own special "evil" list.
Brought to you from the tech booth at SVT. Cochise is going to start at 8. |
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| bouldin creek |
[Jan. 15th, 2009|10:24 pm] |
My crunched-out stomach doesn't really feel like eating, but I'm attempting to convince it that a bowl of granola sunrise isn't that scary and will be really good for me.
On the way over here I was thinking about the myriad of experiences I've had at Bouldin Creek.
Before I moved to New York I think I had only been here once with Roy. It had been while he was in his heavy writing phase, waking up at 6:30 in the morning or something ridiculous like that to drag himself to the coffee shop to write with Owen and other folks. I remember being confused by the menu on that first visit.
It was the first place I had a meal when I moved back to Austin, with friends Kristina and Danny. It was chosen partly because I was a vegetarian then. I loved the big huge menu full of stuff I could eat. And I was thrilled that it was pretty close to my new apartment.
In the last 27 months I've been here more times than I can count. Lunch and a conversation about romantic events that "shouldn't" have happened. Casual date meet ups. Many, many heart to hearts with my closest friends. Tear-filled arguments on the way to parking. Artist's Way meetings. An extremely hot late night make out session that got interrupted by a garbage truck. "Working" from home. Playing board games. Reading and writing at perspective-changing times. Meeting with my real estate agent.
I'm happy this place is here.
I'm happy for this life, and these memories, all of them.
I would like to get to a point where I can regularly feel the same peace with moments as I'm living them. |
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| bggcon |
[Nov. 24th, 2008|05:53 pm] |
I just spent four days at a board game conference. Started playing games on Wednesday evening and until Saturday night at about 2am did nothing other than sleep, eat, and play games. Played 22 different games in total, only four that I had ever played before.
It was a ton of fun, really nerding out that side of myself. I haven't done regular gaming since I left for New York in 2005. I think I'll be more inspired to have slightly more frequent gaming here.
Spent a little bit too much on food that I hadn't budgeted for, but I'll be able to figure that out.
I could have happily stayed there another week, though I probably would have needed a slightly more regular eating/sleeping schedule to survive.
Yay for board games!
Also I have a new project. Similar to how I made "Settlers of Dinosaur Moonpark", I'm going to make a copy of "Antler Island". Probably also with T-Rexes. "Tooth Island"? |
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| some creative updates |
[Nov. 11th, 2008|11:16 am] |
on another note...
drawing/painting
Finished the Art Start I and II classes. We did some drawing, collage, painting. Right now I like painting the best. In the new semester I think I'll try to get a basic painting-focused class in. Maybe Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain if they offer that at a compatible time too. There's also this weekend class that interests me in Victoria.
improv
Firth & Arjet has been alternating weeks of hanging out with weeks of rehearsals with Asaf. We got into a good spot at last rehearsal and have this very theatrical, almost narrative but from a really strong character perspective show that we're developing. It still needs to be ironed out a little more, but Asaf said "I want people to see this" and that he "gets" this combination of me and Jessica now.
New troupe with Korey, Luke, and Topping had our delayed (due to sickness) first meeting finally last week. We've got some serious musical backgrounds, so we're working on incorporating that into our improv in different ways. We're going to try to vary up the kinds of formats we do and we've settled on what it will be for our first show, and it's going to be pretty fun. Looking forward to starting to workshop that in rehearsal this week. Also, we talked about starting a band.
Outside of these two troupe saplings there is other stuff that is rough, bunches of other stuff, but there's very little I can do. Look forward, keep working, keep doing what I can.
Anyway both of my new improv projects are debuting on the same night. Friday, December 26th, in the Threefer at 8pm at the Hideout. In both we're working hard on some really interesting stuff. It's probably going to be a difficult audience night, so any friends showing up would be greatly appreciated. |
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| writing |
[Nov. 2nd, 2008|11:47 am] |
man, I was considering doing NaBloPoMo again, but I already missed the first day of the month... that is not a good start
I was also considering doing NaNoWriMo, to get the backstory and history out for this book thing I'm thinking about, but I just finished a week and a half of being sick, and haven't really been preparing mentally for that.
I'm still doing Artist's Way, in the beginning of a couple of new improv projects, doing my art class which includes some at home work, so I am doing creative things and I don't need to feel guilty about not following through on this one idea...
Instead of adding a new writing project to the month, it would probably be better for me to get more physically on track. Now that I'm working from home (and no longer crazy sick) I'd like to have a better stocked fridge and cupboard and eat more at home. I'd also really like to begin some sort of regular exercise thing, either joining a gym, or starting a martial art of some sort, or getting back into yoga, still figuring that out... so November goal will be to do those things.
well, glad I figured that out... |
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| sick update |
[Oct. 28th, 2008|01:12 pm] |
I called my health insurance nurse helpline and they recommended going to a walk-in or urgent care clinic, and I did that this morning. Extremely long waiting times at a very not busy urgent care center, uncomfortable clinic stuff, but a doctor with a great bedside manner.
He couldn't really tell me much about what it was "might be a virus, might be something you ate...", but as Val mentioned, he did prescribe some promethazine for the nausea, which they promise will work great on the nausea but make me really drowsy.
He also said I should avoid solid food until the nausea is gone. Makes sense, of course, but I had been blindly following website "bland food" advice and hadn't considered liquidy foods with some flavour.
excited by new food choices I got a whole bunch of stuff... tomato basil soup from la madelaine, 4 other fancy canned soups from central market, some soy yogurt, cinnamon applesauce, and odwalla shakes...
looking forward to eating things my mouth enjoys, having my stomach not hate me, and apparently sleeping |
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| doctor? |
[Oct. 27th, 2008|06:00 pm] |
So my major symptoms from a couple of days ago are gone, but I still am not getting over this sick thing. I am still eating only a couple of tiny, bland meals each day, but feeling nauseous afterwards. Still feel pretty much worn out.
So this all began last Wednesday. Perhaps tomorrow if I am still feeling nauseous I should go to a doctor? Even if the trend appears to be getting better?
I never know when it is appropriate to see a doctor... |
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| :( |
[Oct. 24th, 2008|02:02 am] |
I feel like I want my mommy. But I never really had a "mommy" type mother. And I certainly wouldn't be comforted by her right now. I guess I feel like I want to be taken care of.
Being sick turns me into a vulnerable mess. Like a wet puppy.
So based on symptoms, I've been calling this a "stomach bug or food poisoning or something". From noon Wednesday until five on Thursday all I ate was 2/3rd of a banana (Wed evening). I keep waiting for the almost constant gurgling in my stomach to subside. Yesterday evening I ate some "bland" foods as recommended by websites... plain rice and a few pieces of baked chicken... then later toast, a slice of deli-style chicken, and a cut up banana...
I was so exhausted and managed to fall asleep at around 10 and slept for a few hours and woke up feeling extra crappy. It's hard to sleep like this.
This will subside on its own right? I don't need to go to a doctor or something yet? I'm supposed to be managing an AIC booth at a co-op event tomorrow evening, but if I'm still like this I probably shouldn't go?
Internet, please take care of me.
(I see I referred to Thursday as yesterday, and Friday as tomorrow... what day am I in? am I really here?) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2008|01:03 pm] |
from twitter:
Apparently I'm not supposed to read for a week. Artist's Way thing. Can't do that 100%, but maybe no Twitter/Facebook/LJ/etc. Starting now?
So yeah, I'll still use the internet for it's job-related and functional purposes, but I'll be trying to avoid the extras, I guess.
We'll see how this goes...
Over and out. |
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firth's journal